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“If you don’t set your own agenda, somebody else will.”
Melinda Gates’s parents were a powerful influence in her life, this quote being an important life lesson from her mother: If a person doesn’t set their own goals or pursue things that matter to them, others will choose for them.
“As women gain rights, families flourish, and so do societies.”
Gender equality is not just beneficial to women, but everyone. The elevation and inclusion of women correlate with marks of healthy societies, from high rates of education, employment, and economic growth, to low rates of crime, domestic violence, and teen births. Elevating women also elevates societies.
“Wisdom isn’t about accumulating more facts; it’s about understanding big truths in a deeper way.”
As of her book’s publication, Gates devoted 20 years to learning about the people she hopes to help and putting this knowledge to use in her philanthropy. Her research allowed her to identify the root causes of illness and poverty—namely, the cultural, financial, and legal restrictions on what women can do for themselves and their children.
“What extreme poverty really means is that no matter how hard you work, you’re trapped.”
Poverty is crushing. The world’s most destitute people cannot work themselves out of poverty, no matter how hard they try. Obstacles include exploitative wages, the absence of workers’ protections, and a lack of access to medical care. The poor are often marginalized physically and socially. Some live in slums at the edge of large cities, while others inhabit city centers, but are entirely cut off from mainstream society. In short, the poor are excluded by the people who have the power to lift them up.
“Poverty is not being able to protect your family. Poverty is not being able to save your children when mothers with more money could. And because the strongest instinct of a mother is to protect her children, poverty is the most disempowering force on earth.”
This passage stresses the relationship between poverty and powerlessness. Millions of children die simply because their parents are poor. Gates began her philanthropic work by helping mothers protect their children through health initiatives, which not only attacked poverty, but also empowered women.
“Saving lives starts with bringing everyone in.”
The healthiest societies are also the most inclusive. Ending inequality means providing opportunities for the poor, rather than relegating them to the margins of society. Like her mentor, Dr. Rosling, Gates focuses on centering the voices of the marginalized, such as women and sex workers.
“When I talk to women in low-income countries, I see very little difference in what we women all want for ourselves and our children.”
In addition to describing Gates’s hands-on approach to philanthropy, this quote emphasizes the common ground between rich and poor women. Most women want their children to be happy, healthy, and safe. In addition, most want their children to perform well in school, reach their full potential, and have families of their own. Family planning is key to achieving all these goals.
“Shaming women for their sexuality is a standard tactic for drowning out the voices of women who want to decide whether and when to have children.”
Contraceptives have a complex history in the US. Unmarried women were legally barred from using contraceptives until 1972. Rules restricting or preventing contraceptive use are grounded in discomfort with female sexuality. The Catholic Church continues to oppose modern contraceptives, in part because it views sexual activity as immoral when it is separated from a woman’s childbearing function.
“Male allies are essential.”
Achieving gender equality requires male allies, men who work to form equal partnerships with women. Destigmatizing so-called women’s issues, such as family planning, is key to recruiting male allies, as is appealing to men’s morality.
“When the life of a girl is planned out, the plan serves everyone but the girl.”
Girls in rural parts of sub-Saharan Africa live by customs and rules made by men. They attend school until the age of puberty, undergo genital-cutting, get married, and then spend the rest of their lives having children and taking care of the household. The system benefits men, not girls. Changing traditional societies requires courage and support. The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation supports girls, primarily by removing financial barriers that prevent them from going to school.
“A low self-image and oppressive social customs are inner and outer versions of the same force.”
Oppressors foster insecurity and self-loathing in those they oppress, which only reinforces their power. Developing girls’ self-esteem is the first step to changing male-dominated cultures. The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation supports girls by sending them to school, teaching them new skills, and building their confidence.
“Love is the most powerful and underused force for change in the world.”
Love fosters connection and empathy, two qualities that uplift others. Love is not a qualification for holding public office. For Gates, however, no quality is more important in a public servant as it helps create a more equitable world.
“The chores of the day kill the dreams of a lifetime.”
Women around the world are overburdened by unpaid work. In communities that lack running water and electricity, this work is especially time-consuming. The time women spend on this work leaves little time for other pursuits. Redistributing the burden is critical to empowering women and ending gender inequality.
“Gender bias is often unconscious.”
Inequality persists in part because it is unconscious. Education can curb gender bias. Gates observed discussions of gender in Malawi, which aimed to alert men of gender bias. The exercises led to changes in the community. Men took on a greater share of household chores and started consulting their wives before making important decisions.
“Great wealth can be very confusing. It can inflate and distort your sense of self—especially if you believe money means merit.”
Equating wealth with merit breeds misplaced feelings of superiority. Melinda and Bill Gates amassed great wealth. However, their philanthropic work, faith, and upbringing help keep them grounded.
“We have to open up to others. We have to give up the need to be separate and superior. Then we can help.”
Gates’s philanthropic work revolves around creating a more connected and equitable world. She does not see herself as superior. To do so would not only separate her from the people she hopes to help, but also cut her off from the moment of lift.
“The more powerless the girl is, the more appealing she is to the family that receives her.”
This quote is about child marriage. Male suitors prefer girls who are poor and powerless because they make better servants. Educated girls have ideas, skills, and are less obedient.
“When people can’t agree, it’s often because there is no empathy, no sense of shared experience.”
Seeing the world through the eyes of others fosters empathy, which is the basis for understanding. Honest, respectful exchanges of ideas are the mark of successful partnerships and underlie all of Gates’s philanthropic projects.
“Empowerment never confines itself to categories.”
Empowering women in one aspect of their lives can lead to positive changes in other areas. Emboldened by PRADAN, women in India not only improved their crop yields, but also lobbied for clean drinking water and better roads. They also applied for the village’s first toilet and spearheaded a campaign against alcohol abuse.
“Disrespect for women grows when religions are dominated by men.”
Gates is highly critical of male-dominated religions, including her own. Catholicism is ruled by men who devise and enforce rules that harm women and families. The Church’s stance against contraceptives is a case in point, as is its ban on women priests, which presumes that women are not as qualified to serve God as men.
“An abusive culture, to me, is any culture that needs to single out and exclude a group.”
Gates’s hope for humanity lies with fostering connection. All societies ostracize certain groups, including people of color and sex workers. Gates strives to include people on the margins to curb inequality.
“Diversity is the best way to defend equality.”
People in power create rules that benefit them and minimize their burdens, which results in inequity. Ending inequity requires diversity. Only a multitude of perspectives and voices can prevent one group from dominating others.
“Gender diversity is not just good for women; it’s good for anyone who wants results.”
Gates reminds readers that gender equity benefits companies; excluding women means ignoring their unique perspectives. In the workplace, this can result in missed opportunities to solve problems or expand into new markets. Gender diversity in the tech industry ultimately increases creativity and productivity.
“We talk and take a photo and hug—and they won’t let go.”
This quote details Gates’s encounters with sex workers in India. Sex workers are so reviled no one in their communities touch them, except clients paying for sex. Touching is a sign of acceptance. Desperate for acceptance, they embrace Gates, who accepts them with open arms.
“Every society says its outsiders are the problem. But the outsiders are not the problem; the urge to create outsiders is the problem. Overcoming that urge is our greatest challenge and our greatest promise.”
Fear drives people to scapegoat and exclude others; it underlies inequality. Ending inequity demands fostering connection. Gates seeks to help the marginalized in hopes of creating a more connected, inclusive world.
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