Save Me a Seat

“As I look around the room, a sea of mostly white faces stares back at me. I feel a little nervous. It is my first day of fifth grade in room 506, and I am the only Indian in my class. There is one other, a boy named Dillon Samreen, but he doesn’t count. He is an ABCD. American-Born Confused Desi. Desi is the Hindi word for Indian. I can tell Dillon is an ABCD, because he speaks and dresses more like an American than an Indian.” 

This quotation represents one of the few instances in which race is referenced in the novel. Ravi is used to going to school with people who look like him; however, in Hamilton, he finds that many of his peers are white and perhaps do not understand the cultural differences between growing up in Bangalore and growing up in New Jersey. Ravi is used to acting a specific way in school, including being overly deferential to his teachers, behavior which is not necessarily the norm in American schools. For solace, Ravi looks to the only other Indian kid in his class, Dillon, believing that they can find commonality in their shared race. However, this idea could not be further from the truth, representing one of the many ways in which assumptions can be harmful. 

“This year, I’ll have to go by myself to see Miss Frost, and I’m not sure who I’m going to eat lunch with. Probably no one. People think you’re unfriendly if you don’t talk to them. But they don’t understand that it’s a problem for me that it’s so noisy in the cafeteria. My brain and noise don’t get along.”

Unlike Ravi, Joe’s schoolyear begins with conflict. Joe was used to having the twins as his friends, but now that they have moved, he worries about who he will sit with at lunch, a fear that is synonymous with a fifth-grader’s idea of friendship. Even though Joe has attended Albert Einstein for many years, he is now in the same predicament as Ravi, although Ravi does not yet know it. Both boys begin the schoolyear alone, although Ravi has a decidedly more optimistic viewpoint than Joe regarding this subject. Ravi assumes he will easily be able to make friends, and when this is not the case, he wants to quit school. On the other hand, Joe assumes that he will not make any new friends this year, as though friends exist as a static quantity. Joe discusses the problems he has making friends, which mostly arise out of his distaste for noise. Joe is at a disadvantage in terms of making friends because it is difficult for him to carry on a conversation in the crowded and noisy cafeteria. Joe also discusses the idea that people’s assumptions—especially of him—are often wrong; he is not unfriendly but rather has difficulty listening and conversing with people amidst the noise. This distaste for noise then prevents him from making many friends and relegates him to a status as a kind of loner, which then makes him an easy target for school bullies like Dillon. 

“I wish people would call me Joe, but when Dillon Samreen decides he’s going to call you something, whether you like it or not, that’s what everyone else is going to call you too. So at school I am Puddy Tat, Puddy, or Pud for short.” 

Here, the audience sees the similarities that already exist between Joe and Ravi. Both boys are not called by the name that they prefer, although for Joe, this is out of peer cruelty instead of ignorance. Joe also identifies naming as being associated with a kind of social power; Dillon is popular, and so when he decides to change Joe’s name and give him a nickname, the other kids follow suit. Joe does not believe that he has the social capital necessary in order to change the name that Dillon has given him. Rather, Joe merely accepts this nickname as something that will follow him throughout school. However, much like Ravi, Joe does not attempt to alter the way in which people refer to him. Neither of the boys stand up for themselves when they are called names, further identifying similarities between these two seemingly dissimilar individuals. And yet, Joe’s decision not to rock the boat seems to stem from resignation more so than Ravi’s deferential behavior towards authority. Joe does not believe that he has the agency to change the name that others call him, rendering him powerless in many social situations. 

“I keep looking over at Mrs. Beam, but I don’t think that she has noticed yet how well prepared I am […] The desk in front of me is empty. I wonder if Dillon Samreen will be absent today, but at the last minute, he comes rushing into class and takes his seat. I’m glad my new friend is going to be here to witness what’s about to happen. I’m sure he will be impressed.” 

Ravi expects both Mrs. Beam and Dillon to be impressed with how well-prepared he is, indicating Ravi’s assumptions about what teachers and other students hold to be important. Ravi assumes that school in Hamilton will be the same as his school in Bangalore, and expects that the students and the teachers will hold the same things to be important. However, this assumption ends up harming Ravi, as most people believe his behavior to be peculiar or, at the very least, different from what they expect. As indicated by Dillon’s actions, in Hamilton, it seems as though anything that is seen as being different becomes the subject of ridicule. Interestingly enough, it is Ravi’s Vedic math that impresses Joe, who enjoys all of the colors and lines that Ravi uses. Unlike most of his peers, Joe seems to be drawn to things that are different. Ravi unintentionally impresses Joe, who was not even on his radar as far as friends go. This quotation also delineates the difference between Dillon and Ravi for the audience, although Ravi does not seem to pick up on these differences. Ravi is always excellently prepared for class, believing that he should show up early to impress his teacher. Dillon, on the other hand, almost ends up being late to class and is not nearly as prepared as Ravi is. Even though Ravi assumes that Dillon will be his friend, the audience suspects that Dillon will not be as impressed by Ravi’s behavior as Ravi believes he will be. Herein lies one of the first instances of dramatic irony within the novel, in which the audience knows something that the characters—namely Ravi—do not: Dillon is not and probably will never be Ravi’s friend because they are two completely different students. 

“The purple marker slips from my hand, falling to the floor. First my manners are too Indian for her, and now my math? What will my next humiliation be? I wonder as I walk back to my desk.” 

Ravi experiences a kind of culture shock once he enters school in Hamilton; however, the true extent of this dissonance does not become clear until the second section, when Ravi attempts to demonstrate Vedic math on the board. Ravi does not understand many of the behaviors that are seen as being normalized in this novel’s version of American public school. But more importantly, there is a complete lack of action on the part of the teachers to attempt to understand him. Although Ravi could be faulted for his showmanship, he cannot possibly be faulted for the fact that he is doing math slightly differently than his peers might solve the problem. There is no attempt on the part of Mrs. Beam to understand Ravi’s differences in behavior. In many ways, this lack of empathy on the part of the adults promotes a culture wherein anything that is different is inherently seen as bad or wrong. This then allows for the proliferation of attitudes that, at the very least, allow for complicity in Dillon’s bullying. Similarly, Ravi also feels completely dejected by Mrs. Beam’s failure to empathize with him, as evidenced in the words he uses. Ravi feels humiliated not because he has done anything incorrectly, but because he is different. 

“I want to: 1. Show Joe Sylvester what I think of him and his giant foot 2. Tell Mrs. Beam the only thing that is hurting is my pride. 3. Shout at the top of my voice—MY NAME IS NOT RAH-VEE! But here is what I do instead: 1. Bite my tongue. 2. Pick myself up. 3. Go and get my glasses.” 

After the Vedic math catastrophe, Ravi believes that Joe has tripped him based on Dillon’s assertion. Of course, the audience quickly learns that this is not the case; rather, Dillon has tripped Ravi. Ravi develops a desire to exact revenge on Joe, which then also shapes Ravi’s assumptions of Joe. Ravi also believes that this instance proves that he and Dillon will become friends despite what the audience knows about Dillon generally being a terrible child. Within this quotation, Ravi compares what he wants to do, most of which revolves around action and speech, with what he actually does, which is to remain silent. Ravi is unable to stand up for himself, either against Joe’s perceived slight or against Mrs. Beam for continuously mispronouncing his name. This method of comparing action to inaction reoccurs throughout the narrative, as Ravi often thinks in these kinds of lists. Interestingly, Ravi’s desire to list things can be seen as being similar to Joe’s obsession with patterns. Both indicate a highly organized method of viewing the world, presenting further instances of similarities between Ravi and Joe. 

“R-A-V-I. Mrs. Beam has been calling him RAH-vee, but when he introduced himself earlier, I’m pretty sure he said his name was rah-VEE, with the accent on the second syllable. As I reach down to pick up the card, he reaches for it at the same time and we bump heads.” 

Possibly due to Joe’s APD, he must concentrate much harder on what people say in order to understand them. Joe seems much more sensitive to sounds in general, often noticing noises that other people would not necessarily pay attention to. This might allow him to detect fluctuations in the way that people speak more so than the average person. In this case, Joe pays a lot closer attention to the accents Ravi places on his name. Even though Joe does have trouble remembering exactly what people say, he does seem to be able to remember the way in which they say it. In this way, Joe notices things that other people do not, demonstrating his ability as a listener, which may stem from his condition. 

“I don’t belong here,’ he says, pushing his glasses up again. ‘I speak perfect English. I was at the top of my class in India. My IQ is 135. I don’t need special help. I’m not like him.’ He points his finger at me.” 

Ravi believes that his intelligence precludes him from needing additional help, as though people who are smart do not need help adjusting to new environments. In this way, he compares himself to Joe, who he believes is not intelligent, one of the many assumptions that Ravi makes about Joe. Ravi believes himself to be better than Joe, arguing that he does not belong in Miss Frost’s resource room, as though only kids who are less intelligent get sent there. Of course, this is not the case as Joe is, at least socially, more aware than Ravi is. This quotation also excellently demonstrates how important the bifurcated narrative is. If the entire story were told from the perspective of Ravi, the audience might not understand just how rude Ravi’s comment is. However, when the situation is repeated from Joe’s perspective, it becomes unavoidably clear how hurtful Ravi’s assumptions are. Despite this, Joe does not seem to initially react to Ravi’s rudeness, although the idea haunts Joe later on. It seems only after Ravi’s intention has sunk in does it bother Joe, as though he must take apart all the other noise in order to focus in on what Ravi is saying. Then, Joe seems to hear it echoing in his head; he is not able to get away from the noise of Ravi’s accusation, which is that Joe is different. When Ravi says this, he is implying that difference is negative; that is, that Joe being different is inherently bad, or perhaps that Joe is different in a bad way. Of course, what Ravi means is that Joe is less intelligent that Ravi is, a fact which is not lost on Joe, despite Ravi’s assumptions that Joe is not intelligent. In fact, Joe is intelligent enough to immediately read between the lines and understand what Ravi is saying, demonstrating just how untrue initial assumptions can be. 

“Most people think there are only three layers in a peanut M&M, but it’s not true—there are four. The first one is the hard colored part on the outside; next there’s a thin white layer—that’s the part most people don’t know about. Then comes the chocolate, and when that’s gone, if you’ve done it right, you end up with a nice smooth peanut sitting on the end of your tongue.”

Joe explains the nature of peanut M&Ms to Miss Frost, describing exactly why he likes them. Central to Joe’s philosophy is the fact that while most people only think the candies have three layers, Joe argues that they have four. Of course, it is curious to note who even thinks of the make-up of peanut M&Ms in the first place, as most people arguably would say that the candy is a singular being and not made up of distinct layers when asked. This further demonstrates Joe’s ability to see things that other people cannot; he is not unintelligent but rather focuses his energy on things that other people might not, such as food, which is very important to him. Joe is different in this way as he knows from a very young age that looks can be deceiving, a fact which many people do not realize until much later in life. It is not Joe’s ability to understand things but rather the importance he seems to place on sequences that differentiates Joe from other people. The way that Joe conceptualizes things seems to be very sequential in nature; in this way, Joe is actually more similar to Ravi than either of them initially think, at least in terms of how their brains process information. This similarity in terms of sequential mental processing just goes to show that looks are indeed deceiving, as neither Joe nor Ravi would believe that their brains work in similar ways based on their perceptions and assumptions of one another. 

“‘Just because Joe needs help doesn’t mean he isn’t bright. You shouldn’t assume things about a person before you know who they really are.’ ‘People are making assumptions about me too,’ I point out. ‘They think I can’t speak English or do math. But that’s not true.’ Miss Frost nods her head. ‘You see,’ she says. ‘Assumptions are often wrong.’” 

Miss Frost cautions Ravi about assuming things about people based solely on perception. Even though she is talking about Ravi assuming that Joe is not intelligent, she is also implying that Ravi should not just assume that Dillon is being truthful about Joe tripping Ravi. However, Ravi does not understand Miss Frost’s implications because he is too sensitive to feeling as though he is being criticized. Ravi is absolutely correct that other people are assuming things about him, even adults such as Mrs. Beam. However, Miss Frost attempts to help Ravi understand that therein lies the commonality between Ravi and Joe, not a difference. Miss Frost is attempting to build empathy within Ravi’s character, as he does not seem to be able to put himself in other people’s position very easily. In this way, Ravi is different from Joe, who easily empathizes with other people. This quotation serves, therefore, not only to address the ongoing theme that assumptions are often incorrect but also to serve as characterizations for both Ravi and Joe. 

“Amma has a birthmark on her tongue. In India, a black spot on the tongue means you have magical powers. This may sound like silly superstition, but believe me, when Amma says something is going to happen, it does.” 

Ravi talks about the birthmark his mother has on her tongue, a black spot that in his culture demonstrates that the person who has it possesses magical powers. In terms of Ravi’s mother, Ravi believes that this birthmark has the power to allow her either to foretell the future or to sway it in some way. It is unclear from Ravi’s perspective whether his mother has agency in this magical ability or whether she is simply seeing the future as it will unfold. However, Ravi’s mother’s alleged magical ability—whether it is true or not—demonstrates a difference between the culture he finds at Albert Einstein and the culture from which he comes. Namely, differences in his culture are seen as being indicative of magical abilities and are not necessarily construed as a bad thing. However, this is not the culture Ravi finds at school, wherein he is repeatedly ridiculed and humiliated for being different. Part of Amma’s magical ability, then, might lie in the fact that she has been able to appropriate her difference in a positive way. That is, it might not be that Indian culture is more accepting of difference but rather that Amma represents one of the rare few who are able to turn their differences into assets as opposed to something that might be the source of humiliation. Part of Ravi’s coming of age in this story is that he must stand up to those who humiliate him for his differences; he must learn to celebrate those things that make him unique. In doing this, he perhaps channels some of his mother with the help of his new and inarguably different friend, Joe. This novel is then not only a kind of bildungsroman, or coming of age story, for these two boys but also a celebration of the ways in which they are different and therefore unique.

“When I was a little kid, if I fell down and skinned my knee, my mom would kiss it to make it better. I thought it was magic. But I’m not a little kid and I don’t believe in magic anymore.” 

Here, the authors contrast Joe’s view of magic with that of Ravi’s, demonstrating how these boys—although they undoubtedly share similarities—are also very different and experience their worlds in different ways. While Ravi still believes that his mother possesses magical abilities, Joe no longer believes that his mom is magic. Rather, she is a source of tension for Joe as her presence in school allows for him to be teased by Dillon, at least from Joe’s perspective. Interestingly enough, even though it appears that Ravi is the more rational one, he still believes in things like the magical abilities of his mother, whereas Joe has seemingly grown out of what he perceives as childish fancies. This, then, shows alternate shades to the personalities of both boys, as Joe would otherwise be considered more imaginative in the ways in which he perceives and relates to the world. This juxtaposition between the magic of the two different mothers then serves to further characterize the personalities of both boys. 

“I can’t believe I am going to play my first game of American baseball on a team made of girls. This is all Miss Frost’s fault. If she hadn’t made me go to the resource room yesterday, Dillon and I would have had lunch together. I would have told him about the gold cup I won last year for scoring two centuries in our final cricket game. He would have picked me first for his team today, and together we would have beaten the other team hollow.” 

This quotation demonstrates a variety of interesting topics, not the least of which is the curious absence of female characters within the book. Although the book is admittedly about two fifth grade boys, their attitudes towards girls who are not in positions of authority over them—either their mothers or teachers—is arguably problematic, as though the idea that fifth grade boys could or would befriend girls is completely absurd. Ravi in particular is fairly flippant in his attitudes towards girls who are his peers, and this quotation demonstrates a kind of latent sexism at work in his conception of gender. Ravi is flabbergasted at the very idea that the girls are participating in the same sports as the boys. Although this is chalked up to cultural differences, as he admits that his school athletics were separated by gender, there is something more sinister at work here, as Ravi becomes offended by the idea that he will be put on the team with girls. It does not occur to him that his female peers have the same capacity for athletics that he possesses, an assumption that is never quite addressed within the following chapters. 

“I grab one of the plastic trays anyway and tuck it under my arm. I have a plan I’m certain will help me fit in […] I sit down on the bench next to Dillon. I place the plastic tray in front of me [….] and transfer the creamy white raita into one of the small square sections of my tray […] Finally, I am where I belong.” 

Ravi’s entire concern up until this point has been trying to fit in. He has tried a variety of different tactics, including trying to impress his peers and his teachers with his academic and athletic abilities. Ravi believes that his perceived differences are what is causing his isolation. In order to combat this, Ravi grabs a plastic tray to make his lunch look the same as all of the other students who buy their lunch. He believes that making his lunch look like Dillon’s will earn him the respect and approval he has been seeking all along. This demonstrates how little Ravi understands about his peers and possibly about other kids in general. In an attempt to fit in, Ravi will only succeed in making his differences that much more apparent. That is, by having his lunch arranged on the same plastic tray as the other kids, the other kids—like Dillon—now notice that his lunch is completely different from theirs. This represents Ravi’s childish worldview; even though he believes that he has everything figured out, he has no understanding of Dillon, who will capitalize on any perceived difference as a source of humiliation for another person. Ravi is so concerned with fitting in where he assumes that he belongs that he does not even stop to consider whether or not it is a place where he wants to belong or that would welcome him. Rather, he assumes that if he appropriates the same mannerisms as everyone else, he will automatically be accepted and welcomed. 

“Dillon Samreen—the crocodile turned chipmunk—standing there in his peanut boxers with his cheeks full of cornbread pushes me right over the edge, and I totally lose it. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time, and every time I think I’m done, I look at his little round ears and his peanut boxers […] I’m laughing so hard I’m crying now.” 

Joe finds a way to take Mr. Barnes’s advice and not let Dillon get to him. Previously, Joe had imagined Dillon as a crocodile, a predator that would prey on the weaker students. This is interesting because Dillon is actually much smaller than Joe, although Dillon is much fiercer and ruder. Using his imagination, Joe is able to picture Dillon as an unintimidating chipmunk instead of a crocodile, realizing that Dillon’s taunts only work if Joe allows himself to be hurt by them. Joe uses the power of imagination in order to recast the social hierarchy of school—if only for a moment—so that Dillon can no longer bully him. However, Joe’s conceptualization of the fifth grade as a jungle indicates the cruelty that some students are subjected to during their time in school. Joe believes that he and Ravi both share commonality because they are both victims at the mercy of Dillon’s cruelty. In this way, navigating fifth grade social circles can be seen as being similar to being out in nature, where everything feels as though it is a matter of life or death. However, what Joe and Ravi have yet to realize is that by bonding together, the two of them can outwit and become stronger than Dillon’s predatory bullying, just as prey often use their numbers and wits to outfox predators in nature. 

“I look at the lump of half-eaten chili sitting on the table. I can still taste it in my mouth […] I use my cloth napkin to wipe up the chili. I’ll be sure to throw it away after lunch so Amma won’t find any evidence of the chili. I’ll also keep my shirt buttoned up, to hide the bruise on my shoulder. As I open the bottom compartment of my tiffin box, a familiar waft of mustard seeds and onion drifts into the air, and I feel relieved.” 

After mistakenly eating hamburger, Ravi feels humiliated and as though he has failed his mother, whom he believes would be very upset to learn that he has eaten beef. Part of Ravi’s culture necessitates that he be vegetarian, and Dillon’s cruel trick has made Ravi break this tradition. Ravi feels as though he has forgotten a part of himself in his stubborn desire to be Dillon’s friend; he now seeks the comfort of his mother’s vegetarian cooking to remind him of who he is. In this way, food is shown as being the subject of both conflict and comfort, as new food can be problematic whereas one’s own cuisine yields relief from social problems. Ravi also desires to keep this transgression a secret from his mother, just as he decides not to tell her about Dillon’s bullying. His decision to keep quiet, unfortunately, allows him to continue being a victim, although Dillon’s victimization of Ravi cannot in any way be said to be Ravi’s fault. However, Ravi refuses to stand up for himself or to ask for help from the adults in his life, demonstrating the power that bullies exert over their victims. Part of this power stems from the victim’s silence and their desire to cover up the bullying due to shame, which is an integral aspect of bullying in and of itself. In this way, shame and silence go hand in hand to allow for the continued oppression of those who other people consider different. 

“Everything has changed. I am no longer the person I was before. I am Curryhead now. Curryhead who has no friends and can’t speak English [….] At Vidya Mandir, I was Dillon Samreen—a popular boy […] I am the Ramaswami of Albert Einstein Elementary School. Curryhead, a loser and the butt of the joke. It seems I am getting a taste of my own medicine.”

Ravi feels like he has completely changed since attending Albert Einstein. He no longer feels secure about his identity, but rather sees himself as a loser due to Dillon’s bullying. Ravi contemplates his fall from grace, his transition from being a popular boy like Dillon to being the object of humiliation, like Ramaswami. However, Ravi realizes that this transition might be partially his own fault, as he used to be cruel like Dillon. In some ways, Ravi believes that his transition to a humiliated social caste represents a kind of karmic retribution for his past actions. Now that he has been put in Ramaswami’s place, he understands the pain that he inflicted upon his peer; Ravi is now able to empathize with Ramaswami due to his own humiliation. Ravi clearly sees how cruel he was at his old school as well as how fickle social positionality can be. One’s social position is not assured and sealed in stone but rather is dynamic and subject to the whims of those around him. For Ravi, most of his identity seems to be tied up in other’s conception of himself. As such, his identity feels unsteady and Ravi no longer feels sure about who he is. This emphasis on the social aspect of one’s identity demonstrates the crucial role that others’ perceptions can have in our own self-conception. Despite Ravi’s abilities, he now feels like a failure and thinks of himself in terms of his own failings. 

“‘It would serve him right [getting punched in the face]. These people come over here expecting to have it all. They ought to show some respect […] Immigrants […] They’re visitors in this country; who do they think they are, pushing us around.’” 

Joe’s father disparages immigrants, despite the fact that the person who is bullying Joe is not an immigrant. Here, the audience encounters one of the rare and brief moments in which the book attempts to demonstrate the racism readily apparent within American society. The authors do not really address Joe’s father’s xenophobic remarks, but rather rely on Joe to demonstrate the lack of truth behind such commentary. However, readers must be aware of the flaws inherent within Joe’s father’s arguments. The idea that immigrants are merely visitors is inherently problematic as the nature of the word, immigrant, implies a person who has moved to make a life in a new country. Therefore, immigrants should be thought of as being mere visitors. Similarly, as a white man, Joe’s father himself is a descendant of immigrants, as he is in no way native to the Americas. Therefore, any tirade he might go on against immigrants is hypocritical at best. However, a greater problem lurks underneath Joe’s father’s words: the violence that immigrants can be subjected to in America. Joe’s father seems to believe that violence would serve as adequate revenge for an immigrant who stepped beyond his place, indicating immigrants’ relatively low social caste. According to Joe’s father, immigrants are transient visitors who can be subjected to violence if an American citizen feels as though they have stepped out of line. This sentiment betrays the precarious social positionality of immigrants in American society, as they are people who are not protected by the same rules that apply to US citizens. However, the authors do not delve into these xenophobic sentiments; rather, they allow Joe to contradict what his father is saying, perhaps in order to demonstrate how ridiculous these sentiments are: so ridiculous, in fact, that a fifth grader can argue against them. However, this also serves to belittle the plight of immigrants in American society, as often there are not people such as Joe to stand up against these xenophobic comments. In fact, such sentiments are endemic to American mentality and deserve much more attention than mere dismissal. 

“I want to tell her everything. How Dillon Samreen called me Curryhead and how I ran away and hid in the bathroom. How I have not made a single friend at school and have been ridiculed and laughed at every single day since day one. I want to tell her that I have been tricked into tasting beef, too, but I can’t.” 

Ravi feels conflicted over the silence that he assumes as a method of coping with Dillon’s bullying. Although Ravi is not used to being silent and usually tries to make himself the center of attention, he has found that he is unable to break through the silence in his new role as victim. Ravi demonstrates just how difficult it can be for victims to admit their victimization, even to the people they love and who they know care about them. Here, Ravi’s silence acts in a way that is similar to his lists, albeit much less ordered. The audience then sees how Ravi’s humiliation has taken a toll not only on his identity but also on his thought process as well. 

“I should feel on top of the world, seeing all these reminders of my success, but instead my stomach is churning so badly I think I am going to be sick […] ‘I’m sorry, Perimma […] I can’t take this to school. You were right. All of Perippa’s hard work at the tea plantation was for nothing. I am a complete failure in America.’” 

Here, Ravi finally admits his feelings of failure to his parents, effectively breaking the silence of his humiliation. He learns that he can no longer maintain appearances, as the assumption that he is doing well in school only serves to further humiliate him. When confronted with the transition from his previous to his current identity, Ravi feels physically ill, as though the negative ramifications of his psyche play out in a physical ailment. More than anything, Ravi is upset because he feels like his new identity means that he has disappointed his family, demonstrating how important he believes his identity is to ensuring the success of his entire family. As the only child, Ravi feels an immense amount of pressure to succeed, a fact that is never openly broached but rather implied in statements such as these. As a child of immigrants, Ravi feels as though the sacrifices his family members have made are to ensure his success; however, when he feels as though he is not living up to his family’s expectations, he believes he has failed completely in a way that he cannot come back from. Ravi seems to live in a world of absolutes: either one is a success or a failure, either one is popular or a loser. In this dichotomous world, there exists no room for deviations or differentiated experiences. This representation demonstrates just how absolute Ravi’s worldview truly is, as he does not allow himself any time to stumble. Rather, Ravi assumes that because he feels as though he has failed in this one aspect, he will be a failure for the rest of his life. Part of Ravi’s coming of age, then, is also understanding that one can stumble a few times finding one’s own path.

“It’s my own fault. I should have known better than to leave anything out on my desk when there’s a known kleptomaniac sitting two feet away. So much for impressing Mrs. Beam with my great idea. All I have left is an empty dish, which is exactly what I feel like at the moment.” 

Joe feels as though he should have known better than to leave his peanut M&M around Dillon, who has a penchant for stealing things. As Dillon’s favorite victim, Joe seems to have internalized his own victimhood, believing that it is partially his own fault that bad things happen to him. This removes the onus of blame from Dillon—at least partially—and places some of the blame onto the victim. Joe’s thought processes then reflect part of the problem associated with bullying: that the victim feels culpable for the way in which other people treat them. This is of course completely incorrect, but it often prevents them from either standing up to their bully or from seeking the help of others. However, Dillon’s bullying does serve Joe in some ways in that it allows him to see what others do not. Even though Joe knows that Dillon steals, it does not seem as though any of their classmates have realized this behavioral trait. Because of Dillon’s constant bullying, Joe is always watching him, inspecting his behavior so that Joe knows how to avoid bearing the brunt of his torture. This constant observation allows Joe to know much more about Dillon than possibly any of his other classmates, who do not watch Dillon with the same fear. Therefore, part of Joe’s ability to see what others do not might stem from this fear. Because Joe is different and tends to get bullied, he has been forced to become highly aware of other people’s behavior and can now notice things that mostly go unseen. This hypersensitivity to his surroundings is therefore a result of Joe’s inherent differences from his classmates. 

“As I walk back to my seat, my heart feels lighter. It seems things are finally looking up for me in America. But my gratitude is interrupted when I see Big Foot sitting at his desk, staring into the empty bowl in front of him. He looks so sad and I am not selfish enough that I have forgotten about the insulting cartoon, or what I saw Dillon Samreen take from the little glass dish on Big Foot’s desk. This is my chance to redeem myself for the unkind way I had treated Ramaswami at Vidya Mandir and for all the toes I stepped on at Albert Einstein Elementary School as well—my chance to set things right. I reach into my desk and feel around with my fingers until I find what I’m looking for, then I put it in my pencil box for safekeeping until the moment is right.” 

Even as Ravi feels better about how the schoolyear will play out, he notices that Joe is distraught at the fact that an integral aspect of his project has been stolen by Dillon. Instead of focusing on his own achievements, as Ravi was wont to do at the beginning of the novel, Ravi empathizes with Joe and decides to help him out, as Ravi possesses the perfect object in order to do that. Ravi also feels as though this action is necessary, considering how badly he treated another student at his prior school. In some way, Ravi feels as though his actions must balance out the scales of luck. The authors have previously referenced the idea that the boys seem to act as a kind of narrative balance for one another, not necessarily foils but different sides of karmic scales. That is, if a bad thing happened to Joe, usually a good thing would happen to Ravi and vice versa. In this way, the bifurcated narrative serves to illustrate the idea of balance within a social environment. However, Ravi believes that he can supersede this natural order of things by lending some of his good luck to Joe. Ravi finally realizes the repercussions of his actions: namely, that his actions do not only affect himself but also the people around him. In this way, Ravi decides to begin acting in a way that positively influences the people around him, thereby strengthening his community. 

“My mom and dad are both pretty smart people, but the truth is, they don’t know everything. Turns out you don’t have to punch someone in the nose or blab about your feelings to get your point across. Sometimes all you need is a little help from a friend.” 

In terms of personal growth, Joe finds that he has to listen to his own voice instead of the advice of adults around him. Joe must develop his own ability to discern what is right and wrong and not just rely on the idea of his adult mentors. In this way, Joe strikes out on his own path, giving himself a kind of agency that he did not have in the beginning of the novel. Joe realizes that this agency and strength can come from a place of community; that is, that leaning on other people does not make you weak. He learns that friendship can be integral in helping someone stand up for himself and be known to the world. Joe does not need the violence of his father or the emotional vulnerability of his mother; rather, he finds that having Ravi as a friend enables him to show everyone in his class what a unique person he is. By allowing someone else to help him, Joe can become known, and therefore has the chance to develop other friendships as well, thereby expanding his community.