Rick

In the second half of the book, the themes and symbols introduced in the first half are fully developed. First is the theme of Transitions and Identity. As Rick becomes more settled in his life at school, some of his initial transitions calm: His relationship with Diane has changed and become more distant, but in exchange, he has become closer with Grandpa Ray. School is largely unchanged, but his separation from Jeff means that he can focus on his involvement with Rainbow Spectrum. He reevaluates his own interactions with Jeff when they see each other during breaks at school. As Rick transitions away from Jeff, he can focus more on himself and become more comfortable with his own identities as a nerd, a questioning ace/aro person, and a performer. Through these changes, Rick can more fully understand what Melissa tells him: It’s “really hard to try to be someone” who one is not (120).

Similarly, the symbolism of hobbies as comfort also becomes more fully developed here. While Rick still spins quarters for fun, his hobby slowly becomes less private as he shares his talent with not just Melissa but also Ronnie and Rainbow Spectrum. Ronnie’s suggestion to add Rick’s quarter spinning to Cabaret Night not only indicates how unique Rick’s talent is but also validates Rick’s unusual interests. In the same way, Rainbow Spectrum provides a safe space for LGBTQIAP+ students to explore their differences and be themselves. The Cabaret Night expands the metaphor, as it showcases everyone’s unique talents, from Melissa’s theatricality to others’ musical talents, juggling, and creativity in a celebration of skill, individuality, and QUILTBAG+ people’s worth and identities.

The second theme to develop is that of Unconventional Versus Mainstream. As Rick embraces himself and his identities more fully, he is slowly able to move away from his family’s assumption that he’ll feel the conventional romantic or sexual attraction that was expected of him at the beginning of the novel. His father, the baseball-loving “normie,” still doesn’t understand or accept Rick’s identity as questioning ace/aro, but nerdy Roguer Grandpa Ray accepts and values Rick’s coming out immediately. He returns the secret with one of his own: He cosplays female characters but identifies as a cisgender man. Grandpa Ray’s ability to quickly and easily accept Rick’s identity allows Rick to do the same for Grandpa Ray. This support allows Rick to face his demons at school and to embrace interests he was afraid to admit before, such as performing onstage and openly revealing his involvement with Rainbow Spectrum. By embracing societal unconventionality, Rick is thus better able to be himself.

This theme is further developed through the symbolism of Rogue Space as a secret bond. The Rogue Space tradition continues through each of Rick and Grandpa Ray’s weekly meetings, connected to a deep admission from each person that brings them closer together: Rick’s and Grandpa Ray’s respective coming-outs, Rick realizing his friendship with Jeff must end, and Grandpa Ray’s continued grief for Grandma Rose and acceptance of her absence. Through these admissions, Rick and Grandpa Ray’s bond grows closer, culminating in their visit to Space Con with full cosplay regalia and Rick’s new name for his grandfather: Gamma Ray. By embracing each other’s individuality, they use Rogue Space to bond, keep each other’s secrets, and fill the gaps in their hearts.

Finally, the theme of Friendship and Letting Go also fully develops here. As Rick becomes more involved with Rainbow Spectrum, he grows distant from Jeff. While they still interact at school, Rick comes to terms with Jeff’s toxic behavior: insulting Rainbow Spectrum students and vandalizing Cabaret Night posters. Hesitant to lose his best friend, Rick initially keeps silent, but Ronnie’s knowledge of the culprit, as well as his firsthand experience of Jeff’s bullying and Rick’s complicity, pushes Rick to action. Grandpa Ray’s and Ronnie’s support empowers Rick to confront Jeff, cut ties with him, and report him to the principal. Only when he knows he is not alone can Rick suffer through his first friendship breakup, and Grandpa Ray cries with him when Rick realizes what must be done. Still, letting go proves to be the best answer for him despite the pain of doing so. Only by letting go of Jeff can Rick move on to healthier, more positive friendships: Ronnie and Melissa support him and extend overtures of friendship as soon as Rick separates himself from Jeff. As Rick observes, he spent so long looking, “he missed who was right next to him” (196).

While video games as dark cosplay don’t explicitly appear much in the second half of the novel, the behavior they symbolize becomes increasingly clear, and their absence is as significant as their presence. Video games fade in part because Rick distances himself from Jeff: Sometimes he declines playing with Jeff in favor of Rainbow Spectrum activities. Other times, Rick accepts, but he witnesses Jeff’s violence toward Rainbow Spectrum and their plans are not realized. This psychological conflict represents Rick’s struggle with his friendship with Jeff compared to the reality of who Jeff chooses to be as a person. Rick hates lying to Jeff, but he feels compelled to do so to avoid his derision. His secrecy instead forces him into becoming an accomplice when Jeff destroys or vandalizes the Cabaret Night posters. Rather than joining in, as with the video games, Rick does not share in Jeff’s enthusiasm for violence. Instead, he fears that he will be rejected by Rainbow Spectrum for his complicity and that Jeff will unknowingly vandalize the poster Rick created. While video games foreshadow Jeff’s violence in the second half of the novel, Rick finally rejects both video games and friendship with Jeff.