Reviving Ophelia

Sex bombards adolescent girls daily in their personal lives, school lives, and through the media they consume. The messages they receive through these platforms are often mixed or conflicting. Pipher explains that girls in the ’90s were dealing with three major issues related to sex: their own sexuality, sex in relationships, and a fear of sexual assault. The mixed values they receive lead to alarming statistics; for example, 80% of adolescent girls in the ’90s believed men were justified in forcing sex on a woman if they were married. Furthermore, a double standard exists wherein girls are expected to be sexual and offer themselves up but are then referred to as “sluts” (261). Girls in the ’90s were also concerned about contracting an STI or becoming pregnant. Christy was 12 when boys started pressuring her for sex, and she came to Pipher at 14 for help sorting through her bad experiences. Pipher asserts that “girls this age are too young to understand and handle all the implications” (261) of sex. Often, it is a decision made from a need for acceptance. In the 1990s, girls had less education on sexual assault and were rarely taught how or when to say no, which led many to avoid dating altogether. Lizzie was 17 when rumors spread about her sex life, and she was bullied by many of her old friends. Angela came to Pipher when she was 16 and became pregnant. Thankfully, both girls’ were resilient, and they were able to overcome their challenges with support.

In 1994, 480 women and children were being raped per day in the United States. Headlines in newspapers and on television reflected this trend and instilled fear in parents and girls who were approaching or already in their teens. Domestic violence was reported by over half of teenage girls. Pipher shares a lengthy anecdote about Ellie, who was raped by four teenage boys in a car when she was 15. The experience had lasting and deeply damaging effects for not only her but her entire family. It took a long time with Pipher for Ellie to recover. “Ellie was a different girl than she was before the rape. She was more cautious and dependent on her family. Just when she was beginning to explore the world, her wings were clipped” (278).

Sexual violence is often perpetrated by someone the girl knows, such as a family member or peer. These cases are often dismissed as consensual and make it even harder for girls to trust the world. While rape affects people personally, it is a cultural problem that requires political action to solve. Furthermore, “young men need to be socialized in such a way that rape is as unthinkable to them as cannibalism” (278). Pipher blames cultural associations with sex and power, control, and status. Rape affects those who are not victims too, creating a culture of fear. Progress is occurring; sexual assault numbers are 63% lower than in 1993. Pipher cites a decrease in alcohol consumption, the availability of smartphones and video evidence, and an increase in court charges as factors in this change. Girls and boys also spend far more time online, and while it keeps them safe from assault, it does little to educate them about the realities of relationships and sex. One girl in the focus group states that “nobody knows how to have a relationship anymore” (280). Teens are also consuming more pornography than ever and getting much of their knowledge about sex through porn, which teaches boys to be rough and dominant and girls to be submissive. It also teaches a casual view of sex in general. Parents need to be made aware of the magnitude of porn consumption and be able to discuss it with their children. Pipher cites the story of Ezzie, whose sexual assault was filmed and broadcast on YouTube.