Pale Horse, Pale Rider

Miranda begins the story as a detached, alienated figure. Even before her ordeal, she surveyed the state of the world and found little cause for optimism. The contrast between her vivid dreams and the banal nature of her actual life highlights her situation. The story’s opening passages describe her dream, in which she rides a horse through the beautiful countryside. A nameless stranger pursues her, however, reminding her that this is a dream and that she must eventually return to the real world. In the real world, Miranda must deal with the dull problems of day-to-day existence. Despite the global war and the looming specter of a pandemic, Miranda worries most about her bills, how to deal with the Liberty Bond salesmen, and how to avoid social obligations. Miranda is so detached from the world in general that she doesn’t have time for concern about the war or the pandemic. These are simply horrible facts of life that she can do nothing about. Instead, she worries about the details of her life, such as obtaining sugar and paying her bills. The vividness of her dreams and the mundanity of her waking life portray the stark reality of Miranda’s dull, nihilistic existence. She performs acts of patriotism and happiness for the world while hiding her pessimism deep inside.

The one point of light in Miranda’s existence is Adam. She wants to spent time with him and, even though they’ve known each other for less than two weeks, is already sure that she loves him. The intensity of her feelings for Adam contrasts with her complete lack of feelings for anything else. Miranda loves Adam so quickly and intensely because it’s the one emotion that she sincerely feels. Despite her intense feeling of devotion for Adam, Miranda’s emotions are conditioned by the horrific reality of her situation. She knows that Adam is likely to leave soon for Europe and worries that she’ll lose the one thing that makes her happy. As such, she’s scared to admit to herself and Adam that she really does love him. She waits until she’s gripped by fever and fears she may die. In this moment, Miranda abandons all pretense. She admits to Adam that she has no happy memories, and she tells him that she loves him. She lays herself completely bare, exposing her awkward, raw emotions and hoping that he doesn’t run away. When threatened with losing everything, Miranda gambles on the opportunity to feel something, anything. Adam responds positively. Miranda’s health reaches its nadir just as her emotional relationship reaches its peak. Miranda has love in her life, at last, but isn’t sure how much life she has left to live.

In this respect, Miranda’s survival is a tragedy. While caught in a fever dream, she makes peace with her imminent death. She survives in miraculous fashion, only to learn that Adam has died in a faraway place, almost a month before she was well enough to read about it. Miranda loses the one person who gave her a reason to live. She loses the one challenge to her pessimism—and even the chance to mourn him in a formal, immediate manner. His death moves beyond her when she has no control over anything. Adam’s death is a reminder of her weakness and demonstrates how little control she has over anything in her life. His death passes her by in the same way that her own life will now pass her by. Miranda’s survival is a punishment in which she’s forced to live, to perform emotions that disgust her.