68 pages • 2 hours read
Handle With Care
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Themes
Visible and Invisible Illnesses and Disabilities
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes depictions of medical procedures and trauma, self-harm, sexual assault, suicide, disordered eating, outdated and offensive mental health beliefs and terminology, police brutality, and the death of a child.
Throughout the novel, there is a strong emphasis on how people with visible illnesses and disabilities, like Willow, are treated differently by people. Willow is often perceived as infantile and younger than she is because of her smaller stature, something that infuriates her. She reacts violently—and often immaturely—when this happens, such as when she trips a classmate who insisted Willow play the role of “baby” in a game of make-believe. Additionally, Willow faces discrimination, effectively being kicked out of her preschool because they are afraid of taking on the liability if she breaks a bone in their care. Willow also often struggles to make friends. Charlotte is thrilled when Willow talks about a friend who played with her at kindergarten but is devastated to learn that Willow is talking about her state-provided aide. On the day Marin films, her, she remarks that the kids in her classroom are just pretending to be her friends because they want to be on camera. Ultimately, Willow is never completely sure how people truly feel about her or whether they are just being nice to her because of her OI diagnosis. Charlotte feels a similar way and is unable to discern whether people really want to help her with Willow or if they just feel bad that the O’Keefes have a child with a disability.
Meanwhile, Amelia illustrates the pain of experiencing invisible illnesses and disabilities. Amelia has bulimia and self-harms throughout the novel; she wants to keep these mental health conditions invisible to others. Because her conditions are not visible, they are ignored by the rest of the characters, making Amelia feel helpless and unseen. Eventually, Amelia’s invisible illness almost kills Willow: Willow cuts herself with Amelia’s razor blade in order to be more like her big sister. It is only then—when the invisible illness affects the person with a visible disability—that the characters pay attention to Amelia. Emma, her ex-best friend, and Piper’s husband Rob notice the signs and alert her parents. The Reece family—outsiders—can see her condition while the O’Keefes cannot, which emphasizes her invisibility within her family. Amelia is ultimately relieved when her father confronts her about her mental health, remarking that she feels seen for the first time. Through this depiction and the O’Keefes’ lack of urgency surrounding Amelia’s health, it becomes clear that Willow’s visible condition is ultimately more important—and traumatic to the family—than Amelia’s invisible one.
The Power and Shortcomings of Motherhood and Maternal Love
The novel grapples with the concept of “the ideal mother,” and ultimately Charlotte is portrayed as this ideal mother, due to her fierce protection of Willow. She protects and fights for Willow even when it comes at a cost to her. Losing her sense of individuality, closest friendship, and reputation doesn’t matter to her in the long run because she is protecting and supporting her daughter. Her maternal love gives Charlotte the power to overcome these adversities and to fight for what she believes in.
However, Charlotte still longs for a life outside motherhood. Charlotte continuously argues that the reason behind her filing the wrongful birth lawsuit comes from her strong maternal love for Willow; however, she struggles throughout the novel with her feelings about motherhood. She loves her daughters but feels guilty about missing her career as a pastry chef. Ultimately, she only returns to baking with the encouragement of her daughters and bakes most frequently with and for them. Piper, Charlotte’s maternal foil, meanwhile loves her career, often putting it before her duties as a mother. Even when she is no longer working at her medical practice, she still puts work—albeit DIY and home renovation work—above her family life, neglecting her daughter and husband. A dichotomy is created between Piper and Charlotte that is further amplified through the later lawsuit: Charlotte is the plaintiff, a stay-at-home mother who appears selfless. Piper is the defendant, a mother who is so obsessed with her work that she is unable to provide adequate care for her closest friend’s child. While the women have much more nuanced stories than those stereotypes imply, Charlotte ultimately wins the lawsuit, suggesting that the jury finds her traditional motherhood better or more just than Piper’s.
Meanwhile, Marin experiences the shortcomings of motherhood through her relationship—or lack thereof—with her biological mother. Juliet Cooper rejects her, unable to fulfill a maternal role in Marin’s life because of the pain and trauma of Marin’s conception. Juliet is a mother—Marin has two sisters—but she does not want to mother Marin in any capacity. By creating this boundary between Marin and herself, Juliet shows that motherhood can be hindered by one’s self-preservation. As a result, Marin realizes that the mother who raised her is the kind of mother she wants to emulate—selfless and laser-focused on her child—and she ultimately decides to adopt a child, following the maternal example she respects and knows.
Food as a Source of Connection
The novel is filled with recipes and food, and food often acts as a way to highlight a connection—or lack thereof—between characters. Charlotte in particular often uses food as a way to show her love and connection to people. The recipes throughout the novel operate as an elegy for Willow, demonstrating Charlotte’s love and longing for her daughter. Additionally, many of Sean and Charlotte’s key moments in their relationship are centered around food. After eating some of Charlotte’s dessert on their first date, Sean jokingly asks her to marry him. When he wants to apologize for abandoning the family in the midst of the lawsuit, he buys all of the baked goods at the driveway Syllabub outpost, supporting Charlotte financially when he cannot emotionally. Similarly, Sean confronts Amelia about her binging relationship with food, ultimately encouraging her to seek treatment and help. The two connect over his attention and vigilance over what she’s eating.
However, food can also emphasize a lack of connection. While Sean eventually addresses Amelia’s disordered eating, it takes the outside Reece family bringing it up to him for him to acknowledge it. Piper rarely cooks, often leaving those tasks up to Charlotte or her husband. Notably, a fight between Charlotte and Piper centered around food precedes the lawsuit. For a bake sale benefitting the skating rink, Piper, out of character, does bake: “I made brownies […] In the shape of skates. With frosting for the laces and blades. Get it? Ice skates with frosting?” (57). Not only is this baked good homemade, but it is also extravagant for a hometown bake sale and most likely time-consuming to make. However, it is revealed Piper only made this dessert because “[t]he rest of the moms already blacklisted [her] because [she] missed the spring show for a medical conference” and she was trying to “atone” for her absence (57). Piper uses food to buy her way into the skating community instead of using it to build personal connections with her loved ones. Additionally, it highlights the fact that Piper is often out of touch with both her domestic priorities and her friendship with Charlotte. Charlotte displays misplaced anger when Piper brings the brownies to her house, accusing Piper of making her feel “completely inadequate.” Piper does not interrogate Charlotte’s anger and instead accepts her words at face value. This foreshadows the fact that Piper will be completely surprised at the lawsuit and Charlotte’s true feelings about Willow’s birth, and no extravagant gesture—brownies—can atone for the pain she has caused her best friend.
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