First They Killed My Father

This memoir is all about survival, though not necessarily survival of the fittest. In the Killing Fields, survival was not based on strength, but on luck and food. The Khmer Rouge systematically killed Cambodians who were educated and worked in government jobs. They chose to reward Cambodians who lived simple lives in small farming communities. The Ung family is educated, and Pa worked for the government, causing roughly half the family to die during the Cambodian genocide.

Loung Ung figures out how to work the system by learning from her father and watching her mother. She quickly realizes that she needed to be mentally strong to survive starvation and the deaths of her family members. Adaptation is the key to Loung’s survival, and each journey to a new camp brought more opportunities for the young girl to learn by watching the failures of others.

Her most important survival tactic is her ability to withdraw mentally during periods of emotional and physical suffering. For example, when she hears that her sister Keav is very ill in another village, Loung copes with Keav’s absence by imagining the events that led up to her sickness. Later, when her father is abducted by the Khmer Rouge, Loung imagines him dying with dignity, even though he is almost certainly executed with his body discarded in a ditch like so many other members of the previous ruling class.

Loung also copes with her circumstances by retreating to an imaginary world of violence. She internalizes the violence against herself and her family by fantasizing about killing Pol Pot, the leader of the Khmer Rouge. While this may or may not be healthy under normal psychological conditions, Loung’s rage gives her the strength to survive another day in the camps.