Dinners With Ruth

1. General Impressions

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

• In writing a memoir about a decades-long friendship, how does Totenberg balance her role as both participant and observer in her relationship with Ruth Bader Ginsburg? What effect does this dual perspective create?
• Totenberg describes multiple close friendships beyond her relationship with Ginsburg. How do these additional relationships contribute to the memoir’s exploration of connection and support?
• How does Diners with Ruth compare to other memoirs you’ve read—particularly ones by or concerning political figures?

2. Personal Reflection and Connection

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

• Consider a time when you maintained a friendship despite significant differences in viewpoint or background. How does your experience compare to the friendship between Ginsburg and Scalia?
• The author describes how her female friends supported each other as they navigated male-dominated workplaces. Have you ever been part of a similar informal support system? How did it develop, and what did you gain from it?
• How has reading this memoir influenced your view of maintaining friendships (or other close personal relationships) amid professional demands?
• The author describes how she and Ginsburg helped one other through periods of loss and grief. Think about a time when friends helped you navigate a difficult period (or vice versa). What did you learn about friendship through that experience?

3. Societal and Cultural Context

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

• How does Totenberg’s account of women entering journalism and law in the 1960s and 1970s illuminate current discussions about workplace equity? Where is there still room for improvement?
• The author describes changes in the Supreme Court’s collegial atmosphere over time. What might this shift suggest about broader trends in American political discourse?
• Consider how Totenberg portrays the evolving relationship between journalists and public figures. What does her account reveal about changes in media culture? Where else do you see evidence of these shifts?

4. Literary Analysis

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

• How does the author’s portrayal of Ginsburg evolve from their first meeting on the phone to their final phone call together? What literary techniques does she employ to show this progression?
• Examine how Totenberg weaves major news stories and personal narratives together. How does this technique enhance her exploration of work-life boundaries?
• Analyze Totenberg’s use of professional setbacks and personal losses as turning points in the narrative. How do these moments drive the memoir forward?
• How does the author’s description of Washington’s social circles contribute to the book’s themes of friendship and power?

5. Creative Engagement

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book.

• Imagine hosting a contemporary dinner party that brings together people with opposing viewpoints. Whom would you invite, and how would you facilitate meaningful dialogue?
• Create a timeline of significant friendships in your life, similar to how Totenberg traces her relationships through different career and life stages. What patterns or insights emerge from this exercise?
• Design a museum exhibit about women pioneers in journalism and law, featuring artifacts from Totenberg’s and Ginsburg’s careers. What items would you include, and how would you organize them to tell their story?

Need more inspiration for your next meeting? Browse all of our Book Club Resources.