103 pages • 3 hours read
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Content warning: This section of the guide discusses racism, apartheid, and domestic abuse.
Language is a constant theme throughout the memoir, and its link to culture is represented by the words of Nelson Mandela: “If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart” (236). Apartheid separated the South African majority through language, forcing each community to learn its specific language in school. Each community has its own language, and without learning the languages of other communities, they remain mutually isolated by the inability to communicate. While language was used by the government as a divisive tool to separate and weaken the majority, Noah realizes that it can also be used to bring people together.
Noah and his mom speak multiple languages. In a land that has 11 official languages, the ability to speak to people beyond one’s own culture shows a support and solidarity that the government tried to minimize. This can best be seen when Noah serves as an interpreter between the guard and the man who speaks Tsonga. While the Tsonga man originally seemed threatening, Noah realizes that he is a gentle giant once Noah speaks the man's native tongue. The two become instant friends. This example is a microcosm of how language functions in South Africa. When two people can’t speak each other’s language, misunderstanding can beget fear. Once two people share a language, they can communicate, alleviate misunderstanding, and even become friends. While the government wanted to use language against the people of South Africa to divide them, Noah uses language to forge connections.
Noah also uses a comedic anecdote to reinforce his argument that language is an important tool for connection. When he takes Babiki to the dance, she refuses to go in with him because she speaks Pedi, which no one else speaks. Her need to remain in the car represents the stagnating effects of linguistic limitations, since little progress can be made in their relationship, or in the relationships between ethnic groups, without being able to communicate. While a kiss has the potential to be a universal form of communication, it only confuses Noah more when she kisses him, reinforcing his point about the necessity of shared language.
This search for personal identity amidst the social construct of racial divide is a constant theme throughout the book and guides much of the narrative. Whether Noah is describing his childhood with his Black mother and family in the government-sanctioned ghetto, Soweto, or exploring his relationship with his white Swiss/German father, he is continually trying to define himself against the racist backdrop of apartheid.
Apartheid tells Noah that he is “colored.” While the South African government defined being “colored” as having one Black parent and one white parent, Noah realizes that race is much more complicated than a simplistic, government regulated definition. For example, according to the government, “colored” people could eventually be categorized as white if they looked white enough, or if other people recognized them as white. This idea that someone’s race could change on paper demonstrates just how trivial the idea of race is, especially during apartheid. As Noah notices this, he realizes that the way a person defines themselves is more important than the way the government defines them, since imposed identity can be exposed as meaningless and arbitrary.
For Noah, he never connected his personal identity to his outwardly perceived race. Despite being categorized as colored by the government, Noah considered himself to be Black because he was raised by his Black mother and her family. In this way, Noah’s identity doesn’t line up with what people perceived his race to be based on his skin color. While the apartheid government wanted to use race to define a person’s identity, meaning that if they were Black they should think of themselves as less than, Noah’s experience demonstrates that defining one’s own identity can make one feel empowered and help one to overcome limiting expectations.
The title of the autobiography immediately signals a form of defiance, as Noah suggests that his existence is an inherent rebellion against the status quo. Instead of suggesting the importance of obeying the rules, Noah uses the autobiography to convey the need to defy oppressive rules to end oppressive regimes.
The titular example speaks to Noah’s parents’ choice to defy laws against sex between people of different races and his existence as evidence that they defied the law. His parents epitomize this theme as both recognize the racism of the law and forge their own paths instead. The scenes of Noah secretly visiting Robert with Patricia exemplify the choice to defy oppression, and Noah argues that his existence as a “colored” child of both Black and white ancestry exposes the fragility and arbitrary nature of apartheid.
Noah uses setting to explore this theme. Patricia is unhappy in Soweto, where her family has been forced to live for decades, and she decides to stay in town and rent her own flat. This act of defiance leads to increased comfort, social mobility, and interaction among people of different races. Noah represents this town, Hillbrow, as a lively and artistic place where people of different races interact. The juxtaposition of these settings suggests that defying oppression gives hope for a different life. Furthermore, Patricia takes Noah to places that Black people usually wouldn’t be allowed to enter because she “refused to be bound by ridiculous ideas of what black people couldn’t or shouldn’t do” (73). This implies that defying oppression not only gives hope but actually sets people on a path for a better life.
As well as racial oppression, Noah provides examples of defiance against gender-based oppression. Patricia defies the norm of working as a maid and gains enough skills to work as a secretary; just like her move to the town, this example conveys that defying oppression can engender hope for a better life. Later, when Abel abuses her, she continually goes to the police to report the abuse and resist what Abel is doing to her. While the police ignore her, Noah uses Patricia as an example of the importance of defying gender-based oppression.
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