Blind Your Ponies

“Heroism wasn’t playing hard with a chance to win, a chance to receive the acclaim and praise of victory. True heroism was refusing to quit when there was no chance to win. True heroism was giving your all in the face of absolute defeat. He thought that these boys, who were pitied by some, were learning life’s lesson sooner than most, learning that life is a series of losses.”

Sam’s depression bleeds into his coaching because he thinks that the sooner the Broncs learn that life is about losses, the easier life will be for them in the future. However, even in Sam’s depressed state, he sees the power of the team’s ability to continue trying, even when everything around him reminds him of losses rather than victories.

“Five years after losing Amy, Sam still identified with those Crow warriors who couldn’t bear life without their loved ones. He would never admit to anyone that, on a daily basis, he entertained the thought of blinding his pony and riding off the cliff to be with her.”

West uses the titular Crow legend to emphasize Sam’s grief. Sam sees himself in the actions of the Crow warriors because he cannot imagine living without Amy. Sam believes that what the warriors did reflects a type of bravery that he does not have, even though Diana later tells him that true bravery stems from living despite the pain of the past.

“As young as he was, he immediately recognized a sadness that matched something within him, a grief so excruciating it overwhelmed him. The elephant was heartsick! […] It would never be free to run across the grass […] and splash and frolic. […] Sam suddenly sensed the great freighted sorrow of all those creatures of the earth whose lives were pillaged for human gain and satisfaction. He had seen the awful woe in the elephant’s eyes, and he had to turn away.”

Sam’s flashback about the baby elephant at the carnival haunts him throughout his life. Sam sees sadness in the elephant’s eyes because of its captivity and he hates his participation in perpetuating the sadness. At a young age, Sam does not know how to explain his desire to help the elephant, so he carries the guilt of seeing the elephant’s sadness with him for the rest of his life.

“Mervin had come to the point where he couldn’t stay in church that Sunday each year when the text for the day was ‘The Prodigal Son.’ Damn it, his father had killed the fatted calf when his wayward brother came home, only it was the John Deere ‘D’ he gave him, as though it were a symbol that he’d forgiven him and taken him back with open arms.”

Mervin connects his frustration over Carl receiving the John Deere “D” tractor to the parable of “The Prodigal Son.” Mervin hates the injustice of his life and the minister’s admonishment that Mervin should forgive Carl. Mervin’s only rebellion for years is refusing to hear the sermon on “The Prodigal Son” because he does not believe that Carl ever deserved to receive forgiveness after everything that he did to Mervin and Maggie.

“Some people had journeyed here only to see their carefully woven dreams unravel, their once bright hopes fade or rust. Others, who had already given up on living, migrated to Willow Creek to settle into the dust, a place at the end of life, a place where their personal abandonment and isolation could be fulfilled.”

The locals of Willow Creek resolve themselves to their isolation. Diana believes this isolation perpetuates the trauma that the people have experienced because it draws people with similar trauma to move to Willow Creek. This quote sets up Willow Creek’s need to experience success because, after years of abandonment, the locals desperately want to feel part of something bigger than themselves.

“‘To dream the impossible dream…But they’re your own words. To fight the unbeatable foe…Don’t you remember? To bear with unbearable sorrow…You must remember! To run where the brave dare not go—’ Don Quixote remembers and stammers. ‘To right the unfightable wrong.’ ‘Yes,’ she says. ‘To love, pure and chaste from afar,’ he says with a stronger voice. ‘Yes.’ ‘To try, when your arms are too weary. To reach the unreachable star!’”

This quote from Man from La Mancha thematically supports Achieving Victory Against All Odds. The Broncs connect Don Quixote’s words and dreams to their own experience because they believe that they are dreaming an impossible dream by thinking they can win a basketball game after 93 losses.

“All she could think of was what Sally could have done to believe she’d brought down that insufferable life sentence on her daughter’s head as well as her own.”

Grandma Chapman feels shocked by Sally’s ableist belief that her past mistakes caused Denise’s cerebral palsy. This storyline sets up George’s redemption because Grandma Chapman learns that everyone has experienced trauma in their past. Although she may not agree with George’s treatment of Tom, Grandma Chapman learns that George drinks because of his affair with Sally and this makes her sympathize with him.

“Grandma turned from the window. She had faked it all of her life: that she was happy, that her life was in order, that it all meant something. And all this changed when she saw that brown fedora in the window and walked into that men’s store and bought it. She pulled it on her head and never again valued herself by the opinion of others. She only wished that she had been strong enough to live her whole life that way.”

Grandma Chapman’s ability to live her life without caring what other people think inspires the other characters. However, only Grandma Chapman knows the struggle it took for her to get to the place of wanting to be herself without anyone else’s criticism. She experiences regret, yet she also knows that she does not want to waste her limited time left on earth regretting her past.

“Since he was a boy, he believed that somehow he got off on the wrong foot in life and could never quite get back in step. And it always seemed to be epitomized by that fateful day in August when he was ten, as though it were the gods’ way of foretelling him what to expect down the pike, a landmark event that colors all that follows, an undeniable motif in the pantomime that his life had become.”

West shows through Sam’s flashback that Sam believes that his unfortunate accident in the outhouse foreshadowed the trajectory of his life. However, Sam does not consider that he uses his experience with the outhouse as confirmation bias for how his life has turned out thus far.

“We kill them for sport, we destroy their living space and consider them a nuisance to be trapped and poisoned, and yet they’re our fellow residents of this earth. Our future and theirs is irrevocably intertwined. The least we can do is to show them our respect.”

Diana explains her belief in respecting animals like she would respect a person. This quote provides insight into Diana’s reasoning for swerving for the raccoon in the road, even though it cost Jessica her life. Diana holds to these beliefs to justify her actions and ensure that Jessica did not die for nothing.

“We come to forks in the road we can’t avoid, and the way we choose changes that direction of our life forever. Life is not forgiving. We can never go back. […] We want you to be with us, but I don’t want you to stay to win basketball games. I want you to stay because of this chance to do something you may never be able to do again, something that will prepare you and inspire you for the journey ahead.”

Sam’s conversation with Peter after he decides to go back to St. Paul shows the importance of letting people choose their own paths. Even though Sam believes that Peter should stay with the team, he understands that Peter needs to make his own decisions, or he will live a life of regret.

“‘I thought of Amy out there, right in the middle of the game. Do you—’ ‘All the time,’ she said with a shadow in her unadorned face. ‘When I least expect it I see Jessica’s little face and her big brown eyes.’ ‘I’m sorry,’ Sam said. ‘No, don’t be sorry. I think she’s trying to tell me that she’s all right, that I shouldn’t worry about her or feel sad.’”

This quote shows the bonding grief between Diana and Sam. Since Sam has never had anyone to talk to about his grief, he finds comfort in the knowledge that Diana sees Jessica just like he sees Amy. Diana’s interpretation of this phenomenon encourages him because she does not take it as a warning, but as Jessica trying to tell her that she is okay.

“‘You gave up on me.’ She looked into his eyes. ‘Why didn’t you tell me it didn’t matter that I was pregnant, that I had this baby inside me? Why didn’t you say that you forgave me for being a foolish young girl who was trying to make you jealous so you’d quit putting off our marriage?’”

When Mervin learns about Maggie’s sexual assault, he realizes that he should never have given up on their love. Mervin knows that he must live with his regret after Maggie dies because he cannot go back and change the past.

“Your love was selfish and weak and small. All you cared about was your pride and how hurt you were, without a thought about what I was going through. Goddamn you. You threw away our love, my love and my life. Your feeling sorry doesn’t count anymore, it’s way too late.”

Maggie’s words make Mervin realize that he cared more about his pride than protecting Maggie. In contrast to Peter’s story where Kathy does not want to be with him anymore, Mervin and Maggie’s love story reveals the danger of pride and not speaking honestly to loved ones.

“Maybe I’ll have my heart broken again and again and again, but I know I have to keep trying, like the boys, because if I don’t, I’ve given my chance at life away. I know I might make another horrid mistake and the people I love will leave me and I’ll go through that terrible black hole, that awful loneliness and sorrow, but if I don’t live with my heart, if I don’t live with passion, I’ve already died.”

Diana finds encouragement in the way that the Broncs continue trying even after all their defeats. Diana applies the perseverance of the team to her own life because she knows she must continue living, even though she feels consumed by grief.

“‘You’re in love with your sorrow. Your heart’s at an unremitting, never-ending funeral of self-pity.’ […] ‘Don’t you see? I know that millions of other people have had their loved ones ripped from their arms and slaughtered by monsters, torn from them by war and earthquake and floods and tornados. […] I’m terrified that if I loved someone like that again, and lost her, I’d lose my mental balance, I’d go completely insane.’”

Diana’s fight with Sam exposes the problem with his grief. Sam has let his grief turn into self-pity, which Diana knows will never allow him to fully heal. However, Sam reveals that his self-pity stems from fear because he thinks he will fall apart if he loses another loved one again.

“Sam, if you’re afraid of being devastated again, if you’re afraid to risk loving again, you’re already dead. The monster with the shotgun killed you as surely as he killed Amy, the sadness has already won.”

Diana exposes The Impact of Past Traumas on Present Endeavors in Sam’s life. She knows that unless Sam faces his past, then he will never live again. Although Diana’s words are harsh, they force Sam to decide to live his life according to what is best for his mental health.

“Sometimes I have a deep yearning to go home, an ache, just to go home, but I have no idea where that is. I know it isn’t my parents’ home in San Diego and it isn’t this little farmhouse. I don’t think it’s anywhere I’ve ever been before. It’s like I know it exists, but I don’t know where, and I’m on my way but afraid I’ll never find it.”

Diana’s listlessness after losing her daughter highlights the importance of finding safety and community. West uses the analogy of searching for home to highlight Diana’s healing. Diana worries that she will never find comfort, although she feels hopeful that she will have some relief from her pain.

“We lost control of our own destiny tonight, but maybe it never was in our hands. All we can ever do is give our best and see where it leads. You did that tonight, and let me tell you something while your heads are hanging. We scared the hell out of every team up here. They didn’t want to play us. The four teams in the other bracket were dancing because they didn’t have to face us.”

Sam’s pep talks toward the end of the novel shift because the Broncs are finally a team that other teams fear playing. Sam’s gentle coaching encourages the team because he does not expect them to win, but he completely believes that they can.

“They all groaned. Then they set their faces and relinked their hands, ready to take their stand with Willow Creek through one more game as though their personal destiny was somehow mysteriously linked with this obscure little town and its uncelebrated team, as though if these out-manned, also-ran basketball players could win in the face of the inconceivable, so could they.”

West incorporates the scene of the patients at the hospital listening to the game to represent the unifying force of sports. Although the patients do not have the same connection to the game as Grandma Chapman, they still gain strength from listening to the underdog struggle to win because it gives them hope that they can overcome their own maladies.

“When that happened, I quit believing in anything: in winning, in God, in life. I was afraid to bet my heart on anyone because I didn’t think I could stand being shattered again. But right now, I believe in you boys; right now I’m betting my heart on you. I believe as surely as I’m breathing that if we give everything we have, somehow we will win—some crazy, unbelievable way, we will win. I’m asking you to believe, to give everything you have, and to believe.”

Sam’s admission to the team about Amy’s death allows him to be completely open with them. He finally admits to them why it is so difficult for him to believe in anything. However, despite his doubts, Sam believes in the boys’ ability to win. Sam wants the boys to take a leap of faith because he believes that they can do the impossible.

“Tom and Rob, the two who had suffered the indignity of losing the longest, carried the trophy between them as though it were the Holy Grail. The others surrounded them, escorting the symbol of their triumph to its permanent home in the little brick school building in Willow Creek.”

West shows the significance of the championship trophy by alluding to it as the Holy Grail. This allusion highlights the symbolic quest that the Broncs have completed to find their Holy Grail. Now that they have won, they can return to Willow Creek triumphant.

“Sam watched these well-wishers in their all-consuming happiness. […] [T]hey’d remember this day, remember how good they felt tonight, how happy they were because three Willow Creek boys stood against all the odds and won, like the overwhelming joy one feels when a wildebeest cow won’t quit and outlasts the wild dogs. And they’d remember that it does happen, the miracle when you least expect it.”

Sam understands the significance of Willow Creek winning to everyone who watched it happen. Just like the hospital patients, Sam knows that seeing the underdog win inspires people to believe in their own impossible dreams.