Ain't Burned All the Bright

The narrator’s first attempts to find an oxygen mask fail because he is looking for physical things in physical places (“in a drawer / under the couch / or in a cookie can / where the needle and thread live” [232]). To underscore that he is lost, the imagery depicts a hole being dug, and a ladder descending into a spiral of nothingness. Further affirmation that oxygen is not going to come from anything material or consumerist comes when the news cuts to a commercial and, while he cannot remember what they were selling, it’s “(not oxygen masks!)” (241). The commercial does provide a brief respite from the ever-encroaching darkness of the news, and at this moment, “the beginning / of the beginning / of a laugh" flashes across his mother’s face (250-53), and the narrator begins to feel like they might be okay. The fact that an unrealized laugh—is enough to spark his revelation speaks to its strength—it’s a suggestion, or the shadow of a suggestion, and it is still enough to pull him out of the darkness and completely reframe how he views everything at that moment. It is all he needs to realize The Healing Potential of Family and Art, and the hope, meaning, and strength all come from his family connection and the shared memories and experiences they have.

He begins to see his family’s habits and proclivities—things that previously annoyed him and added to his exhaustion with everything—as sources of oxygen. Now, with his new perspective, everywhere he looks around the house, he notices other signs of life, reminders of their shared experience, their bonds, and their memories, and these become sources of life that provide the meaning and texture that makes life worth fighting for. The narrator also realizes that he too has some tendencies that may annoy his family. For example, he admits that, while the microwave is covered in grease because his brother never covers his plate, neither does he. This too is just another signifier of their shared existence—of a life lived in times different than the ones they’re currently in.

During his revelation, one of the key changes to the imagery accompanying the words is the introduction of yellow to the color palette. As well as being a color that has thus far been associated with family, strength, and hope—mainly through the father—when inserted between the blues and reds, yellow completely re-contextualizes the feelings they evoke; before, the blues meant flooding and drowning, and the reds where fire, thunder, and tornadoes; but with yellow between them, they suddenly feel like a warm and peaceful setting sun (250-53), or a rainbow (260). The house—previously being washed away in a flood—is floating in calmer water and the skies are a more peaceful, serene blue (256). When there is fire, it no longer burns uncontrollably, destroying everything in its path; instead, it is held in his sister’s hand and represents her burning desire and commitment to change (305).

When the narrator tries one last time to jostle his brother out of his stupor by elbowing him in the ribs and finally gets a response, their tussle represents a brief return to normal life. The mother and father both yell at them to cut it out, and the sister stops talking to her friend about what is going on outside of the house to come and intervene. The narrator claims that the fight “knock[s] the wind into [him]” (321), which is the opposite of what normally happens when being hit, but also a literalization of finding oxygen in the signs of normal family life—it’s another reminder of what they’ve been missing recently. The fight also snaps the family members out of their isolation and brings them together on the couch for the first time.

With the family together, the imagery introduces the first use of green, in the form of grass and trees (trees that have leaves, rather than being on fire), suggesting that a steady supply of oxygen has returned. This optimism is retained even when the pessimistic news cycle returns. Armed with his new perspective and the strength of his family, the narrator can better resist the darkness of the crises going on around him. The news is no longer accompanied by images of fire and flood, but green grass, blue skies, and the family sitting together. Despite this, the narrator still ends the book by insisting they change the channel. This suggests that even after he has found the oxygen he needs, it is also important and healthy to look away and not dwell on calamity that they have little control over, thematically supporting The Negative Effects of News Exposure. The final image, that of a fallen tree, reinforces this idea as well. Things will never be perfect. There are always going to be crises, annoyances, disputes, and forces outside of the family’s control that can induce anxiety, fear, and worry—things that make it difficult to breathe; however, unlike the earlier images of crises, this one is still green and blue, suggesting that with his new understanding, the narrator will be able to find better balance and ensure he has enough oxygen.